Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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