We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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