She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
