so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
