Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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