I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
