After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize