I like my sex mixed with concussions.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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