This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
