My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
i out mim tonsoeep
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