yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
