Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
