she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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