This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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