dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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