watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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