I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
jump out the window naked night went bad
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
