I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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