Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
