U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
