I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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