We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
