Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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