Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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