dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize