in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
