Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
