I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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