new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She bit a glass in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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