I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
