Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
