The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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