maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You were trust falling into bushes
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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