I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I wanna passion pit in your ass
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
