I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
