And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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