Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
