I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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