I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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