Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
