I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
