Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
