Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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