Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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