Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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