But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
