I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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