That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
