Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
