A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
