Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
