trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
