Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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