i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
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I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
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I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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