im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
