if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
