wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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