He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
