even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
