Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
