Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm at about main and main street
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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