So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
