If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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